Day 2 – Relationship Challenge (Kindness)

Today is day two of the Relationship Challenge. I hope that you had a chance to use encouragement yesterday to try and lift someone up and motivate them in a positive manner. The point that I want to get across in several of these exercises is that sometimes the little things can make all the difference in the world. If you work on these little things and they become natural instinct for you, they can make a substantial difference in any and all of your relationships. As we go forward, don’t forget the exercises from the past days, but incorporate them also.

Everyone in society is in a rush to get somewhere, get something done or accomplish something. This usually results in less time and more stress then there was years ago. There are many times that individuals can have a short temper and not treat others as they would want to be treated themselves. This leads into todays exercise of kindness. There are many times that it doesn’t take any more energy or time to be kind to someone compared to treating them poorly. It does require some self control and thinking to initiate a different response than you may be use to though.

Todays challenge is to participate in at least one act of kindness for someone. This could be as simple as helping someone with something, getting something for them, appreciating them for something they have done or about anything else that they could perceive as a kind gesture. The key is to do it because you want to and it is on your heart to do it, not because you feel obligated to do it. If you work on this it will have an impact on others and therefor over time, will impact you.

Date with a Vampire!

Early one warm summer Wednesday morning, I came walking into work. Brian, one of my co-workers started a conversation at the coffee pot. “My wife and I know this amazing woman that we think that you will hit it off with, so are you up for a blind date?”, he asked. I was not too quick to jump at the opportunity as I wanted to find out more information prior to agreeing to it. I went through some standard questions about wanting to know how old she was, what did she do for a living and did she have any kids. Not that any of this really matters in the scheme of things when you find that right person, but you have to start somewhere. I found out that she was around my age, was a dancer and didn’t have any kids. I started laughing when Brian told me that she was a dancer. “I don’t need to go out on a date with a stripper”, I joked amusingly. Brian reassured me that she was a classical dancer and not a stripper. I thought about it for a minute and decided to just go for it. How bad could a blind date really be anyway?

Friday night I headed over to her house to pick her up. I was a little nervous and excited at the same time. I got a rose on the way over there for her and slowly approached the door with it. I could feel my heart rate increase as I reached up to ring the door bell. The door opened and I stood there looking into Beth’s eyes (name is changed to protect the innocent). She was an attractive woman between 5 and 6 foot tall, had deep brown eyes and a nice smile. I thought to myself, this can’t be too bad. I introduced myself and handed her the rose and saw her eyes light up with a smile.

I walked Beth over to the passenger door and opened it for her. “Thank you!” she said as she looked into my eyes. It appeared to be a genuine look of appreciation. I closed the door for her and then started over to the drivers side. I figured I would stick with my original plan for the date after meeting her. I had selected an open area that we could go walk around and enjoy the weather. This would give us a chance to talk and get to know each other without the silence of a movie or the loud music at a dance club.

The next few hours were spent walking around. We laughed, joked and seemed to have a natural flowing conversation. We finished up and headed back to her house to drop her off. I walked Beth up to the door and thanked her for a good evening. “Would you like to come in for a cup of coffee?”, she asked. I took Beth up on her invitation as I figured it would give us more time to talk and find out more about each other.

Beth walked into the kitchen and got the coffee brewing. It appeared to be a nice home and well kept at that. “Would you like to see around?”, she asked. “Sure!”, I responded. We walked from room to room admiring her beautiful home. We continued down the hall after looking at the office. She slowly opened the door to show me her bedroom. The look on my face must have said it all, complete shock. Now I am not innocent and I do have a vivid imagination, but what I saw left me speechless. I looked into a mostly empty room that was painted white. The walls were covered with copious amounts of black and white Elvira pictures. Right in front of me was a wood coffin that looks like something that you would find in a haunted house. “I take it that you are an Elvira fan?”, I asked her as I stood there with a lack for any other words. “Yes I am!”, she softly replied. My mind started to wander and I didn’t know if this was a woman with a wild side or if she was crazy and slept in a coffin. “How do you like my coffin?”, she asked. I was speechless! Anything that I could have said at this point could have been taken the wrong way or miss construed and left me open for something that I was certainly not ready for at this time.

I politely excused myself at that time, thanking Beth for a good evening. As I was walking down the driveway, I could not stop thinking about what I had seen. How would it have been if the situation was different? Was I right to judge someone over something like that? Questions just kept entering my head and all I could do was think back to the dating experience that led to endless nights of frustration and eventually a restraining order, but that is another story.